I understand that you want your food out, as fast as it can be. Do you see how we are short staffed? What's his fuck never came in, the manager is too busy to jump back here, and I am sweating my non-existent balls off. This fucking shirt is thick, and it is hot. Not to mention, I have a tank top on underneath of it. The idea of this sweaty shirt actually touching my skin gives me the willies.
STOP BITCHING AT ME THROUGH THE WINDOW. I'm serious when I say that if you don't stop bitching at me, your food will take longer. Why am I serious, you ask? The more time you waste of mine, screaming at me, the more I have to talk to you and explain what I'm doing. You are taking time that I could be spending cooking your burger that you forgot to ring in.
I forget to ring in things, sometimes. I understand how it feels. Instead of screeching at me that you need it on the fly, explaining the situation calmly and asking me if I could hurry up would suffice. I understand that it sucks major dick when you forget. It makes you look like a bad server, it pisses your table off, and then the managers have to deal with the carnage caused by the shitty situation.
I understand that the normal time to cook an appetizer is usually 3-6 minutes. But, corporate decided to put one on the menu that does take longer than that. Explain it to your fucking table (it helps to learn things about the product, so you don't look like a dumbass) that it is a different type of appetizer that needs to be microwaved, and then baked for 5 minutes. So, fuck off.
See that screen right there? Yep, the one with the bright colors. Please focus your eyes, as a bug would focus it's untimely death to a bug zapper, and look at the pretty colors. Those are the orders that I have, in the order that I have them. Your order is behind the first five. That means that five orders have precedence over yours. Did you forget to ring this one in? No? Then fuck off and go kiss your tables asses, so they'll stop complaining. Remember, it's only been 7 minutes; not the 15 that they're claiming.
Take a minute, and just breathe. Go run someone else's food, so it looks like you're busy if your table sees you. Go wipe down the pop machine. Organize the straws. Fill the silverware holders. I don't give a shit what you do, as long as you get out of my face.
All FOH employees should have to be trained in the kitchen for at least a week. That way, they can get an idea of how long things take to cook, and how hectic it can get. Yeah, it's a sports bar and we mainly serve greasy appetizers and wings. For some reason, they decided that they should be 'healthier', and have wraps, salads, pizza like things, grilled chicken strips, mandarin oranges, shit like that. Those take longer to make. It takes longer to get the wings out when there are 400 of them on the screen (and that is not an exaggeration).
Before you ask--I have never messed with anyones food, and I have never seen it be done. If we drop the food on the floor, we tell the server, and we make it new. Doesn't matter if it's a burger, or not. I'm sure the table won't mind hearing that we're not going to serve them food that has been on the floor, which I'm not sure when it was even swept last, let alone mopped. They mop the floor every night when we close, and I'm pretty sure that's the only time. The cooks have been stepping into the cooler where the raw chicken is held, and where chicken blood is most likely on the floor. That chicken blood/bacteria/salmonella is now tracked all over that floor. Not to mention whatever may be crawling and fermenting on the bottom of their shoes. If I ever saw anyone serve food that has been dropped on the floor, I'd try to stop them as fast as I could. If I couldn't, I'd physically go out on the floor and make up some excuse as to why I have to take it back. They'll never know that nothing is really wrong with it, other than the fact that it has floor seasoning on it. If I saw a server spit in a drink, I'd make them drink it. Trust me, I've wanted to fuck with food or drinks of some customers that have treated me like absolute shit for no reason. But, that makes me think of that scene in the movie 'Waiting', which makes me die a little inside.
Don't think the cooks are assholes because they appear stressed. Chances are, they are. Most of the time, the FOH has never walked back in the kitchen. I've used the meat thermometer to test the temperature back there. Most of the time, it has a base temp of around 80 degrees. When you're in front of the grill, bump that up to 90. Where I worked, we weren't allowed drinks in the kitchen. Not even water. So, add in the fact that the cooks are stressed, dehydrated, and being bitched at constantly; don't even, for one second, think that they're being assholes for no reason.
Then again, if you keep badgering the BOH staff (even if it's slow), they will be dicks- just because they can.
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