Poop tables…why?!

If you're an avid reader of this blog (I actually think that I am the only one, so far.  Well, my fiance also; mainly because I make him read each and every entry after I post it), you will know that my previous entry was about some white trash family letting their kid shit all over a chair.  Kind of.  More, or less.  Anyways.

There are so many things I could say about white trash tables, but I don't have all night.  I'll just bitch about something else they do that irks me.

The restaurant I worked at has a changing table in the bathroom.  Both bathrooms, actually.  Let me repeat.  Changing tables.  Used for changing a diaper or other types of bottoms that are worn over the genital and asshole region.  I'll even break it down for you:

• Pull on the handle at the top, pulling towards you.  This folds down, so there is a shelf, if you will, that you can balance the baby on.  Make sure he or she doesn't roll off.  
• On the back of the changing table (the part that is against the wall), there is a little compartment in the middle.  These have paper pads that you can place down to try to avoid fecal matter/urine/vomit/blood/whatever other bodily fluids to seep out on the changing table.
• Change your kid, as you would.  
• Pick up the child, and the paper pad that you put down.  Most importantly, pick up the damn dirty diaper that you just took off, and hopefully rolled up.
• Close the changing station.  Basically, you do what you did to open it, but opposite.  Push the shelf thing up.  It folds up, and closes.
• THROW THE DIAPER AWAY.  There are trash cans in the bathroom for many reasons, this being one of them.
• Wash your goddamn hands before touching anything else.  Make sure to scrub.
• Dry your hands, and get the hell out.

Am I correct by saying that this isn't a hard concept to grasp?  Honestly.  If you're a woman, you carried this child within your body for 9 (or close to) months, and then you pushed the kid out of your vagina (or got it removed, like a tumor).  I assume that you feed the child, bathe him or her, dress them, etc.  You should know how to change a diaper.

Some people just simply cannot grasp this idea.  They leave the dirty diaper on the changing station, or leave numerous paper pads all over the place (did they throw a goddamn party?  What is this?), or a combination of both.  Sometimes, if the server who has to check the bathrooms is lucky, they leave the diaper and the dirty wipes.  This is not pleasant for anybody.

But, at least they're taking their kid into the bathroom.  The thing that people do, mainly white trash tables, that bother me so fucking much is change their kid at the table.  At. The.  Table.  The same table that you are eating off of.  What if the table busser/whoever the hell wipes the table down did a shitty job (no pun intended)?  Because of some jackass who can't figure out how to change their child in private (because nobody wants to see that shit [once again, no pun intended]), there very well may be fecal matter on that table.  The same table that we put the silverware on; chances are that silverware is wrapped in a napkin for your convenience.  Now, imagine taking that silverware roll up that has been sitting on an infected table, and wiping your mouth with it.  You just literally wiped your mouth with shit.

I don't care what the fuck you do at home.  Change your kid on the counter while you're preparing dinner, for all I care.  You're not risking anyones health but your own (unless you're throwing a dinner party).  Risk your health all you want.  Then again, you're risking your child's health, if you put the bottles on the counter.  Thinking about this pisses me off.

I've seen posts on this website about annoying and shitty parents (with Facebook statuses.  It's hilarious).  One of them was a mother being like "(this restaurant) didn't have a changing table, so I changed (kids name)'s diaper on the table!  LOL!"  Yeah bitch, that's hilarious.  Why don't you go lick an outhouse seat?  Because that's pretty much what people are doing after you leave.  Fuck you.

Yes, I understand that some restaurants don't have changing tables in their bathrooms (which is ridiculous).  If you don't like it, changing your kid's diaper on the table top isn't going to change that.  Every corporate restaurant has a website, and on the websites are ways to contact the higher ups.  This is where you say how much bullshit it is, and how you'll never return, and how you'll tell all of your friends and family and they'll never go back, etc.  Not spreading dookie all over a table.

If a zombie apocalypse happens because of some weird mutated poop germ, it's your fault.